11. And there was part of me that thought: Well, this is an extraordinarily improper conversation. How? Then they look at things like gay couples, and they see children being raised by loving parents, financially secure. Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, single motherhood is now becoming the new norm. WATCH LIVE: Merrick Garland testifies before Senate Judiciary Committee, The Left's utopian open border policies are unsustainable, No bail and no brains: Seattle judge releases accused mass shooter. Scott's biography of Obama's mother, A Singular Woman, traces Dunham's life and the relationship she had with her son, whose rise in the political world came largely after her death in 1995. Ms. POLS: There is a little bit. The children also . It is a less discussed but important character strength because they understand the needs of a growing family type in America who can influence the presidential vote. Fatherless boys inevitably suffer delinquent tendencies. He joined us from the Pew Research Center here in Washington, D.C. We're going to continue with Mary Pols, and we want to hear from single moms today. Only 8.5% of children in single mother families received TANF. The poverty rate for single-mother families in 2020 was 23.4%, nearly five times more than the rate (4.7%) for married-couple families. ADEL: Question number four: Yes, my child doesn't have a father, and I will be - and I run into that I can't tell you how much. . 6 Half have one child, 30% have two. Intentionally or not, the label obscures an extraordinary storyof a girl with a boy's name who grew up in the years before the civil rights movement, the women's movement, the Vietnam War, and the Pill; who married an African at a time when nearly two dozen states still had laws against interracial marriage; who, at age twenty-four, moved to Jakarta with her son in the waning days of an anti-communist bloodbath in which hundreds of thousands of Indonesians are believed to have been slaughtered; who lived more than half of her adult life in a place barely known to most Americans, in an ancient and complex culture, in a country with the largest Muslim population in the world; who spent years working in villages where an unmarried, Western woman was a rarity; who immersed herself in the study of a sacred craft long practiced exclusively by men; who, as a working and mostly single mother, brought up two biracial children; who adored her children and believed her son in particular had the potential to be great; who raised him to be, as he has put it jokingly, a combination of Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, and Harry Belafonte, then died at fifty-two, never knowing who or what he would become. Shelly(ph) is on the line. 3 Miracles Of Children Raised by Single Mothers. Nina Subin/G.P. Although the Affordable Care Act will give more low-income single mothers access to health insurance, nearly half of these families reside in states that have declined to expand their Medicaid programs. At the same time, the role of fathers has evolved, and the public now acknowledges their importance not only as breadwinners, but also as caregivers. And I raised her, raised her by myself, and CONAN: And what were people's attitudes like? A few months after receiving the photo, I wrote an article for The New York Times about Dunham. Nearly two in five (35%) of Black female-headed families lived in poverty, Hispanic (34%), White (26%), and Asian (22%). But as you know, many single moms aren't quite as lucky to be as financially secure as you are. In 1966, Dunham married Lolo Soetoro, an Indonesian man studying in Honolulu on a student visa. Compared with fathers heading households with two married parents, single dads are younger, less educated, less financially well-off and less likely to be white. ", "The birther movement began during the campaign, when I was actually writing a series of biographical pieces for The New York Times on then-Senator Obama. Ms. POLS: You know, I remember when I was pregnant, one of my dear male friends said to me, you know: You are going to be alone in this emotional landscape. Single parents should be respected for how they meet a greater challenge. And so we included things, as you mentioned: gay couples raising children, women deciding not to have children and single mothers raising children on their own without a male partner. More often than not, when I tell people that Im a single mother by choice, they say Good for you!Politicians who recognize and support these shifts in the shapes of the American family will gain more votes. I was widowed when my children were in elementary school. Equally dramatic differences emerge at the other end of the education spectrum; just 17% of single fathers (and 18% of single mothers) have a bachelors degree, compared with 40% of married fathers. We see Ms. McWilliams pregnant and dancing with her babys father. You have to be financially wise, and mostly, you are forced to reach outside of yourself to find alternative emotional and social supports. Now more than ever, single parents need government leaders who can empathize with our losses and victories, the strengths that they build, and offer a vision for the future that will give us all more psychological security and stronger community structures in which we can thrive. She needed to be able to work to pay for the education she wanted for her son and her daughter. How do people treat you? Age differences also contribute to the differences in financial well-being between the two groups. That compassion doesnt come from a place of privilege, but rather one of internal resilience built from challenges. And millennials will make up 21% of the voting-eligible population in 2020. I'm not sure that some of the motivation, negative motivations, played a role in, you know, in these judgments. I want to be a better father, a better husband, a better man. No one could doubt that President Obama understood how much fathers mattered for their kids. He summed up the proposed problem: income inequality has soared, stretching the gap between rich and poor, and a smaller share of Americans are making the climb. This month, for instance, The Harvard Gazette ran an article entitled, Why living in a two-parent home isnt a cure-all for Black students. Written by Harvard sociologist Christina Cross, it spotlights her research showing that poor Black kids with two parents do not do better on a few educational outcomes compared to their peers with single parents. Rachel Lehmann-Haupt is an author of "In Her Own Sweet Time: Unexpected Adventures in Finding Love, Commitment and Motherhood," and a single mother by choice. IN A PERFECT WORLD reveals that the whos missing isnt as important as whos there. After all, everyone faces obstacles in life; health complications, sudden tragedies, divorce. Obama decided not to return to Indonesia with his mother. Ms. McWilliams begins the film with her own pregnancy and fearlessly records her. Mr. MORAN: Good question. Her book is "Accidentally On Purpose: The True Tale of a Happy Single Mom." Indeed, children raised by single mothers are even more likely to reach higher professional and educational levels than children raised in households headed by a stepfather or single father . We went to a Campboree this past weekend, and when I registered my son, the man who was registering said: And are you registering his father? We could improve the prospects of those single parents, and their sons and daughters, by finding ways to make it easier for all of us I was inspired by how genuine each of the men were. Colbert . Readmore. Almost one third (24.3%) of single mother families were food insecure, 12 about one-ninth (11.7%) used food pantries, one third spent more than half their income on housing, which is generally considered the threshold for severe housing cost burden.. And we'll start with Paige(ph), and Paige is on the line with us from Charlottesville in Virginia. Beth Akers:To all parents: Dont break the bank to send your kids to their dream school. And I kept asking the parents, and I knew that they were, you know, they were very religious people, and I felt that when I had explained my situation to them, they had looked somewhat askance on me. I don't think it's - I definitely don't think it's deliberate. They are also younger and less likely to be white. Some of these celebs'fathers passed away, while others simply left their families. 2 Today 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 a total of about 13 million are being raised without a father. Will Democrats and Big Tech ever apologize? than boys raised in single-parent households. Our guest is Mary Pols, author of "Accidentally On Purpose," a single mom of her son. Sometimes research results are politically incorrect, or even offensive for some of us, and still worth talking about. You know, I'll answer him honestly. And this from Jeanie(ph) in Washington, D.C.: I'm sure you're going to receive lots of emails that echo my sentiment, but I was raised, for better or worse, by a single mother. disadvantage, with the consequences appearing larger for boys than girls. So I think there was a theme and this is just snippets of little things I've stumbled upon that she had a kind of longing for a closer relationship with him. I mean, obviously, it skews in this very interesting way because the sort of person of first responsibility inevitably is the mother in American society. About 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. We're in Maine now. But, you know, people are going to think what they're going to think, and you just kind of have to get back to doing what you're doing, which is working really hard for your child. Had she lived, Dunham would have been sixty-six years old on January 20, 2009, when Barack Obama was sworn in as the fortyfourth president of the United States. Putnam For more details, see. America. Kanye West's parents divorced when he was 3years old, at which point he was raised solely by his motherin Chicago, Illinois. About 59% fall into the first category; they have no spouse or partner in residence with them. I just think that the way that couples socialize tends to be with other couples. Median adjusted annual income5 for a single dad household of three is about $40,000a far cry from the $70,000 median among households headed by married fathers, but much higher than that of households headed by single mothers, where the median adjusted annual income for a three-person household is only $26,000. This is TALK OF THE NATION. Mary Pols, thanks very much. Stephen Colbert. Ones that come to mind would be Andrew Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover (completely orphaned at around age 9, somewhat raised by an uncle), Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton to some extent, Barack Obama mostly, and probably some of the 19th Century Presidents but I don't know enough about. During a discussion group after the screening, the teenagers shared their disappointment and anger toward their fathers. Mary Pols is a film reviewer and author. Even for those who did receive assistance, the amount was far less than the minimum theyd need to to stave off hardship like hunger, homelessness, and utility cut-offs. And, you know, for me, I'm sort of I'm in the middle of movie screening. He underlined the value of fathers for kids and his own dedication to breaking the cycle of fatherlessness he experienced as a boy. CONAN: Would you explain that - I'm sorry, Mary Pols, go ahead. Some experts suggest that changes in the legal system have led to more opportunities for fathers to gain at least partial custody of children in the event of a breakup, as well. Fifty-three percent are solo mothers, who tend to vote Democrat, and the majority are part of the vast millennial generation ranging from age 24to 39. Among children with single mothers, 38% get food stamps and 62% dont. That's really irritating, and it's so not true of what we're feeling out here in the world. One thing that we don't want to do is attempt to demonize single mothers or necessarily demonize the American public. Single fatherhood is generally more prevalent among younger, less educated, poorer and non-white fathers. Shelly with us from Chapel Hill. It just means that the chances - the likelihood that bad things will happen is increased if you grow up in a single-parent household. Adel's with us from Birmingham. Nevertheless, mention that you're a single mom, and all-too-many of us still have to cut through a thick, gristly layer of stigma before we're given our proper due." And these mothers can't - they're working three, four jobs, have two, three children and can't provide the financial means to put their children in a position of privilege where they don't get in trouble. Email us, talk@npr.org. PAIGE: This is very interesting to me, just from a sociological perspective and being a budding sociologist in school right now and raising two children, two teenagers as a single mother. But if you're in Durham Public School, it lands you in court. And for the last couple of years, his dad has been out of work. Just over half (56%) of single fathers are white, as are 45% of single mothers and two-thirds (66%) of married fathers. More than two in five (43%) lived in poverty. Since most single-parent households are by women, it's - the real issue is single moms. So at a certain point, she decided she wasn't serving his interests well by keeping him in Indonesia and in Indonesia schools.". No, he doesn't have a father. Men can become more involved parents and the children of single mothers can gain positive career role models. Scott's biography of Obama's mother, A Singular Woman, traces Dunham's life and the relationship she had with her son, whose rise in the political world came largely after her death in 1995. It's the TALK OF THE NATION from NPR News. We appreciate your time today. We're talking about a Pew survey that found attitudes towards single motherhood to be, well, about seven and 10 of Americans thought it was bad for society. Thomas Jefferson was raised by his mother, Jane Randolph Jefferson, after his father died when he was 14. Several famous actors, actresses, musicians, and athletes were raised by single mothers. Children raised by single mothers are more likely to fare worse on a number of dimensions, including their school achievement, their social and emotional development, their health and their . The proportion is much higher among African Americans (65%), compared with whites (36%). likely to become, in turn, the parents of lower-income children. Study of Mens Falling Income Cites Single Parents, statistical impacts of being raised by a single parent, Parents of the Touch-Screen Generation, Dont Free Your iPad Yet, Well Family: A New Name and New Home for Motherlode, A Family Adds Five Children, Special Needs and All, Stop Asking if My 4-Year-Old Has a Girlfriend, Whether Our Foster Child Stays or Goes, He Is Loved, When Another Child Wants to Be Friends and Yours Does Not. CONAN: Yet they also look at the president of the United States and realize he was pretty much raised by a single mother. Ms. MARY POLS (Journalist, Time; Author, "Accidentally On Purpose"): Thank you, nice to be here. "When I was five, my parents split and my mother. And I'll give a for-instance. Single motherhood has grown so common in America that today 80 percent of single-parent families are headed by single mothers nearly a third live in poverty. And 18% of fathers living with no spouse or partner are Hispanic, while fully one-third (33%) of cohabiting fathers are. You know, three movies, no dad. This share drops to 13% for those living above the poverty line. Hes a better father than my father ever was.. They gave me a bag lunch and little help. TANF benefit levels for a family of three, as of 2020, were less than 30% of the poverty line in 33 states and the District of Columbia and above 50% in none. President Barack Obama was raised by his mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, from the time that he was born until he was 4 years old, when she married Lolo Soetoro. Around half (51.4%) of single mothers have never married, almost a third (29.3%) are divorced, 19.2% are either separated or widowed. The men also exhibit sensitivity and compassion for their absent fathers. First and foremost, there has been a marked increase in the share of non-marital births. Angelina Jolie's parents, Jon Voight and Marcheline Bertrand, separated when the Mr. and Mrs. Smithactress was an infant. While this family unit is the ideal, many Church members find themselves in a variety of other circumstances, including in single-parent families. No matter how you cut it ." Kamala Harris has also said that her mother, divorced and single, was her primary role model. Ms. POLS: I was just going to speculate that maybe right before they got the phone call from the pollster, they were watching one of the reality shows about unwed teenagers or something like that. These details completely transform study outcomes. (Pew Research, 2019) The second highest country with the most children in single parent households is the UK (21%), followed by Russia (18%), and Sao Tome and Principe (19%). When I asked why, her answer was straight to the point: Soon Mr. Sanford and other adults in the room were choking back tears. The term single father includes men in a variety of family circumstances. And it - the sort of demonization or marginalization happens not only to the mothers, but to the children, as well. The number of single father households has increased about ninefold since 1960, from less than 300,000 to more than 2. . In some cases, a non-marital partner may also be a biological or adoptive parent of the minor child in the household. I met with bankers in glass towers in Jakarta where, nearly two decades before Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank shared the Nobel Peace Prize for their work with microcredit, Dunham worked on the largest self-sustaining commercial microfinance program in the world. 3. And my child was seven months old when his father died, and I have to say I heard your - one of your guests say that it's not an issue about demonizing, but there is - if it's unconscious or subconscious, there is a level of demonization that does go on, and it happens - I watch the single mothers with children that I know. Heres what she had to say: Do you think there are any positive aspects of boys growing up without fathers? "She believed that he deserved the kind of opportunities that she had had [like] the opportunity to a great university," Scott says. Mr. MORAN: Basically, we surveyed nearly 3,000 Americans, and we wanted to test what people really thought the consequences of some of the bigger demographic trends that have reshaped the American family in the last 30 or 40 years are. And comments like that, you know. Scott says she doesn't know of any problems between Obama and his mother, but there were some indications that his mother felt some sadness about the physical distance between them. CONAN: Yeah, being raised by Pixar, yeah. I spent many weeks in Hawaii, where she became pregnant at seventeen, married at eighteen, divorced and remarried at twenty-two. The woman was Stanley Ann Dunham, his mother. Young white men from single-parent families, for instance, are more likely to end up in prison than young Black men from intact, two-parent homes. Snapshot of Single Mother Families (2022) # __ 10,889,000. single parent families. The share of single fathers that is Hispanic is close to the share among single mothers (24% and 22%, respectively), but is higher than the share among married fathers (17%). all families. You know, to me, I think a lot about the sort of lack of single-mother role models we have in our culture, and maybe because I'm a movie critic, I really latched on to the mother in "Toy Story.". I stopped sharing my news and felt intensely sad when I watched married pregnant women put on a pedestal. " (My mother) came here from India at age 19 to pursue her dream of curing cancer," Harris said. About one-fifth (19%) of single dads lack a high school diploma, while just 10% of married fathers lack one. I mean, I think about it all the time. a center-left policy research organization, presents exactly that kind of opportunity. This share drops to 20% among Hispanic fathers and just 14% among white fathers. But I wonder about - has your decision, Mary Pols, has that affected you professionally? The educational attainment of single father householders is markedly lower than that of married father householders. About 40% of U.S. single parents were employed in low-wage jobs and often had no access to paid leave. By loving their children so deeply, they also stop letting their past define them. This prevalence is due in part to the growing trend of children born outside marriage a societal trend that was virtually unheard of decades ago. A majority (62%) of SNAP households with children were single mother households. Biden and Harris have shown the many positive qualities that being a single parent or being raised by one inspires. I want to break that cycle where a father is not at home where a father is not helping to raise that son or daughter. I mean, these are low-income families, and these - I mean, if you're a rich kid going to a private school, getting into a schoolyard fight is not a big deal. I had to earn respect by proving that I could effectively raise my son on my own. Of course, there is a wide array of single mothers. President Barack Obama was raised by his mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, from the time that he was born until he was 4 years old, when she married Lolo Soetoro. Single mothers spend more time with their daughters, and those daughters are both more likely to enroll in college, and more likely to finish, ", The Untold Story of Barack Obama's Mother. Sean Grover, L.C.S.W., is an author and psychotherapist who leads one of the largest group therapy practices in the United States. I don't know what the answer would have been had we asked about single fathers. You know, if a - one of my clients, you know, gets kicked out of school for getting into a school fight and has to go to court, the judge blames the mom, says you're not putting in the family structure in place to keep your child well-behaved, and that kid usually gets adjudicated delinquent, is on probation for 12 months, gets into another fight, and they're stuck in the system. This is due to the fact that many employed single mothers are earning poverty wages. Ms. POLS: Yes, I think that's true. Pierce Brosnan's father abandoned his family when the Matador actor was a baby. Email us, talk@npr.org. Black children raised by single parents are three times more likely to be poor,compared to Black children raised by their own married parents. I was in quarantine on campus. And for me, it's like: Wow, here I am latching on to "Toy Story" as an example of a single mother celebrated in culture by doing a good job with her kids. Causation is unclear, but correlation isnt: over all, men and boys are struggling in a changed environment. They must wait longer than single parents in comparison countries for early childhood education to begin. So I think, you know, for me, I did the same thing. But. And I don't feel that way. I'm sure it has not helped me moved up in the business world. All the men in the film, including the directors son, adopted loving and supportive men to fill the role of their father. Black children raised by single parents are three times more likely to . Your purchase helps support NPR programming. And it made me really sad because my son loved this boy. Causation is unclear, but. Each week, we send out a newsletter containing the news and headlines that matter most to parents. economists David H. Autor and Melanie Wasserman took a deep dive into the economic trends, research Famous Men You'd Want To Have A Beer With, The 50+ Most Beautiful Influencers Of 2023. The point was to raise my children. So we want to hear from single mothers today. They know and believe in their hearts that, really, children are better off being raised by two loving parents. And Andrew Jackson's father, like Bill Clinton's, died before he was born. But the evidence, when viewed objectively, points strongly to the value of two-parent households., Jason Sattler:What a new dad learned in COVID lockdown about politics, responsibility and 'women's work'. Readmore, By the time children are in middle school, parents should be stepping back. The gospel of Jesus Christ was given by God to bless all His children, without exception, regardless of the family situations in which they find themselves. (+1) 202-857-8562 | Fax Copyright 2011 NPR. So during the period when I was doing the research, it wasn't something I was thinking a whole lot about and then was resuscitated by Donald Trump. The biggest factor? "At the University of California, Berkeley, she met my father, Donald Harris . Click on TALK OF THE NATION. Equally striking, we also find that Black children from stable two-parent homes do better than white children from single-parent homes when it comes to their risk of poverty or prison, and their odds of graduating from college. So the next time you come across a study from Harvard or some other ivory tower academic trying to cast shade on the idea that fathers matter for kids, youd be better off just reprising the wisdom articulated by our 44th president on this matter for Fathers Day in 2008, which is as relevant for Fathers Day in 2021: Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important We know the statistics that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves.

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